Colourful Snape
by a lit Howl
Summary: The Marauders love pranks.
1. Kitty & Zonko's Fu

"So, what do you rate operation _Colourful Snape_?"

"It was great, but not long lasting. 4 out of 5 dungbombs!"

Wormtail nodded quickly. "Yes, 4 dungbombs!"

Prongs and Padfoot lounged on the pile of dirty clothes strewn all over the floor of the fourth years' boys' dormitory while Moony continued reading 'Guide to magical plants in potion-making'.

"Next, _Minnie the Mousetrap_ or _Freeze Furious Filch_?"

"Both!"

_

"Please, Moony, please? I know you'll never get caught."

"I see no reason to take part in your pranking."

"Please, please, _please_, you're the only one who can do it…"

"FINE!"

_

"Professor, I want to discover more about the Animagus transformation. Could you please transform into your Animagus form again?" Moony asked in a _very_ innocent, studious voice.

In a few seconds, a pink tabby-cat with deep spectacle markings around its eyes appeared right before their eyes. Somehow, the fixed-metal stern look in the eyes was the same.

And then they STRUCK.

Prongs released an animated rubber mouse from Zonko's from under his table. It scuttled around the floor.

Minnie-Kitty POUNCED.

The mouse darted away and Kitty chased. MEEOW. Round the tables and chairs and behind the cupboard. Unstoppable, crazy laughter.

After a while, the mouse ran away under the bottom of the door. Kitty ran back to the front of the classroom, seemingly to finally be able to overcome her cat instinct.

"POTTER! Don't think I don't know it was you. Detention for two weeks, every other day, 8 o' clock at my office. Ten points from Gryffindor."

Moony only managed to get away unscathed by putting the most angelic, oh-no-I'm-really-sorry appearance on his face.

Professor McGonagall's hair looked like a bunch of tangled wire comparable to James Potter's hair. Her robes were wrinkled and her shoes were badly scratched. Her face, well, looked startlingly like that of a snarling cat.

For most of the students, it was really hard to hide a grin. However, Lily Evans looked horrified.

_

"That…" Prongs said, breathless after running all the way back to the dorm after the detention, "absolutely rocked!"

"Brilliant!"

"Now for _Freeze Furious Filch_…"

_

"A weak stunner, shot directly at his head. That'll do the trick," Padfoot said excitedly.

"His JAW," James suggested.

"Yes. Of course. Prongs, you are a genius!" Sirius grabbed James' hand and shook it vigorously. After about two seconds, Prongs felt like he couldn't lift up his hand.

"PADFOOT! Look what you turned my hand into. I can't hold darling Lily's hand properly now!"

"Oops," he replied, not particularly sincerely.

"Anyway guys…" Their very… mature fight was prevented from starting by Wormtail.

-

"Careful, Prongs…"

"Yes. Thank you for being so… SERIOUS."

"Fine. Idiot Prongs, you better don't f*** up our prank shittily before the prank even friggin starts or we'll…"

"Shut up!"

-

"These items are not permitted within Hogwarts," Filch started. "Fake wands, voice amplifiers, clothing repellers, wigs, fireworks, Zonko's fu-"

He froze abruptly, jaw hanging. He had been about to say 'Zonko's fun pack'.

Needless to say, the Great Hell was soon overcome by another ferocious wave of laughter.

A/N: I think I'm better at Marauder oneshots. No patience for chapter fics.


	2. That Really Really Amazing Bag

cA/N: Changed rating. I don't think Sirius' swearing is suitable for… kids.

"PADFOOOT!!! Can you believe what I got for my birthday???!!!" said the lunatic Prongs.

_**-flashback-**_

"Son, take this, quick! Don't let your mother see it…" Mr. Potter whispered to James as he handed James a suspiciously large package.

Sudden footsteps.

"Dear, what did you get for Jamesie for his birthday?" Mrs. Potter's voice echoed from the hallway.

"The latest Comet, the one I saw in Diagon Alley the other day…"

James tried to stifle a laugh.

_**-end flashback-**_

Sirius rolled on the four-poster bed laughing, sounding almost freakily like a loud, very angry dog.

"So wh… what's in the b… bag??" Sirius asked in between great barks of laughter.

James paused dramatically. "Muggle pranks."

"THAT'S BRILLIANT! Imagine the looks on those Slimy Pureblood Slytherins when they realize they've been tricked by things made by muggles!"

Padfoot and Prongs started singing out-of-tune and really deafeningly a song that had the repetitive lyrics, 'Slimy Pureblood Slytherins are outdone by Muggles, smashed by Muggles, mortified by Muggles…"

Remus muttered under his breath, "I doubt you even know what the word 'mortified' means…"

Sirius cheerfully responded, "You're right. I just heard it that day when McGonagall said that she was mortified by our behaviour... It sounds good, doesn't it?"

Remus sighed.

-

"Moooooooony! Help us with the spells, pleaaaaaase?"

Remus knew he had no chance against Padfoot when his Animagus had such cute puppy-dog eyes. It didn't help that Prongs had charmed his voice into that of a five-year-old girl asking for a Chocolate Frog.

-

"_Sonorus!_ That should work…"

James jumped on the whoopee cushion to test it. The sound resounded through the dorm.

"YEAHHH!!!!!!"

-

"_Geminio. Geminio. Geminio. Geminio. Geminio._ AHH!!!!" Prongs exclaimed. He had been sitting on his bed for three hours trying to make enough copies of the whoopee cushion for everyone in Slytherin.

Peter yawned.

James glared at him.

"I… need… to go to the toilet…" He scurried away.

-

They woke up at five in the morning, _wingardium leviosa-_ed all the cushions onto the Slytherins' chairs and casted sticking charms and not-very-perfect Disillusionment Charms on the cushions.

Then they went back to sleep.

-

It was worth it.

The Slytherins' faces were redder than stunners.

Dumbledore mentioned afterwards that one of his eardrums cracked.

"Ahh," Sirius said loudly. "We rock."

-

A/N: okay I kinda changed the rating cos I don't think Sirius' swearing is safe for kids…


End file.
